Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Thin Line Between a Gab and a Blab

This issue has been on my mind very a verrah long time. Like for years and years. And, to it, I want to make something crystal clear: Gabbing and Blabbing are NOT THE SAME THING.

Gab=talking, venting.


That's what you get for being a Blabbermouth, Perezzy Poo.

There is a very easy way to make this distinction, Gab=Good (hence, the “G”) and Blab=Bad (hence, the “B”).

As I said before, I’ve been thinking about this trending of Gabbing v. Blabbing for a long time. Everybody Blabs, I know it. We’ve all been there and we’ve trash-talked and gossiped and known things that we shouldn’t know and then Blabbed those things that we shouldn’t know to other people. Question for you: did it make you feel better? Did it, really? Because of all the things that make me feel better (shopping, watching Bravo, blasting tunes from Gaga, Twi), I have to say that Blabbing doesn’t really take the cake.

If I may, an example: I know this girl…and for the sake of not hurting anyone’s feelings, let’s call her Blab Betch. Now, I was sorta/kinda friends with Blab Betch—you know, like walking from class-to-class friends. Nothing major. S’not like we were besties by any stretch of the imagination. Anyway, we’re walking one day, talking about…oh, I don’t know…the weather. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I was Gabbing about how much I love sunny days and seeing everyone outside on the Diag, and you know, just nonsense. Blab Betch and her Blabbiness proceeded to rain on my parade and started gossiping about this girl, CC, whom we both know.

“Omg, so last night, CC and I went down to Main Street, and she told me that she hates you,” said Blab Betch.

OH NO SHE DI-INT! #1. I get that Blab Betch was trying to be a “good friend” or whatever, and thought that #2. By her telling me this information that it would do me some good. Well, to be frank, knowing that information made me feel like…a piece of shit. What did I ever do to CC? Umm…nothing that I can recall, so when I learned that CC ‘hated’ me, I was surprised and upset. But, the point here is not whether or not CC ‘hates’ me…the point is that Blab Betch demonstrated that she has no mother effing common sense. Raise your hand if you enjoy knowing that somebody is not only talking about you behind your back, but also that said person has strong feelings of disgust for you. Ahh…no hands! Praise the Lawd. Keep that shit to yourself. Seriously. Not everybody needs to know everything about everything. What ever happened to a little grace? How about the art of being discreet?

When you Blab, you are doing yourself a complete disservice. In other words, you are making yourself look like an a-hole. Raise your hand if you want to be a-hole. Ahh…no hands! Lawd, have mercy.
Omigod. Do you die? How cute?

Since Graduation is in T-6 days, I felt it necessary to bring up this issue because I (just as many of you) will be entering the Real World very, very, VERY soon. For those of you who have jobs already lined up or who are going to Graduate School next year, I am Gabbing about your fierceness to everyone. Notice, I am not Blabbing; I am Gabbing. This is GOOD NEWS! See the difference here between my actions and Blab Betch’s actions is that my Gab is spreading something productive into the world. And, for those of you who do have jobs and who are going on to Grad school, it is TOTES FINE to Gab about it. In fact, I hereby order you to Gab about it! Because it’s a tremendous accomplishment, and while I’m insanely jealous that y’all are really going places really soon, I’m also insanely proud of each of you. And, for those of you who, like me, don’t have a hoot-nanny about what the future holds, that’s okay, too. But, don’t let your anxiety over this turn you into a Blab Betch. Jealousy is never in style, Gabbers. And neither is being a Blabbermouth. Ever.

Live it. Love it. Know it. Own it. But, don’t Blab it.

Gabbily Gifted

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